"This isn’t the last of One Direction"
↳Happy 4 Years! ♥
watch niall tweet 7 long sentimental paragraphs about their 4th anniversary and harry just be like “4”
“everyone has their off days” I tell myself 15 days in a row
i was sitting here feeling a little overwhelmed and a little sad and maybe a little /stares into space/ “what am i…………” and it felt a little lonely. but i just closed my eyes and took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down, because i’m prone to getting weird anxiety attacks late at night, and i started thinking about other things. more uplifting things. and i just remembered how much i love everyone on this earth. it’s really that ~agape~ love that my main man (i’m sorry) Jesus is all about. you know, i used to really hate myself. if you’ve known me long enough, you probably remember me saying that! maybe too often. or maybe you didn’t know me when i broadcasted it, but it was always a small whisper in my heart. i recently was going through my “personal” tag and when i saw some of these posts i made and some i reblogged from 2012-early 2013 i was just like …. wow. did i really tell myself this? on my own BLOG too? and suddenly it all kind of came back to me. that hatred for myself that turned everything i touched…sour. that pain i had built up inside me that made every moment a little more painful than it needed to be. i was so broken, you know? i mean, i still am. we all are. but now i just don’t have room in my heart for any of that hate. i didn’t just wake up one morning and think, “you know, i’m gonna be better.” because that’s not how these things work. it was an every day thing. it took changes in my life, like making new friends and finding new hobbies…and honestly some days i would just force myself to smile through the pain and at the end of the day i’d think, you know…it wasn’t so bad. i’m not so bad. i’m okay. i’m good. and soon enough, there was so much love in my life i didn’t have time to hate myself. and soon after that, i would think…what is there to hate? i made a post a long time ago when i was sad…it was a list of all the things i loved about myself. i commented saying it was still way shorter than the things i hate, but i was working to change that. but you know, now i find it to be the opposite. i still feel insecure about a lot of things, especially in my appearance and also with how i tend to put people off by being too emotional and controlling…but you know. there’s a lot more to love.
the more i love myself, the more i love others. the more i love others, the more i can help them. the more i can help them, the more i can help the world. we really are all we have. bruised, broken, and all. we need to embrace that.
- why is
- im gonna
- i cant
- look at
I found these gems on the Foster The People Facebook page. Circa 2010-2011
Photo credit to Andy Barron
get to know me meme: [1/5] musicians » foster the people
"You know, it’s funny how freedom can make us feel contained, when the muscles in our legs aren’t used to all the walking."
mistersmims: This lady’s spirit was joy unstoppable. I told her she was beautiful and her whole body lit up. After we took this picture together, I showed it to her and she smiled as big as she could and said in the sweetest broken English “You’re beautiful!” I didn’t stop smiling for the rest of the day. My Burmese grandmother. God bless her.
i was talking to maerah about the palestine conflict going on right now, because i know how important it is to her and how heavy it weighs on her heart. i’m kind of stupid when it comes to government related issues, so i usually butt out, but how could i possibly do that when i was hearing about innocent people being killed and especially when it was an issue really important to a lot of my muslim friends and my own extended family, who are muslim as well. again, i’m still a little slow with processing details, but i learned more about the conflict and i really recommend you do too, just to stay informed with the injustice and cruelty that’s going on in our world right now. while talking about this, i brought up how it felt so…unfair and bizarre to think that i get to live in the most peaceful, safe environment, staying up late on my laptop being a piece of shit, while there are kids being murdered in another country. what makes me different from those kids? why do i get to have this blessed life, where my biggest problems are gee what college am i going to choose to go to and how am i going to will myself to even start my summer school? it’s just crazy.
maerah brought up the frustration of knowing about what’s going on and not being able to do anything about it, and that’s something that really resonates with me too. like whenever i hear about anything horrible going on in the world, i get deeply affected because it almost feels the same as walking right past some suffering people without batting an eyelash. but you know, sometimes there is really no way for you to change a situation right then and there. but that doesn’t mean life is hopeless. what i told maerah was that i believe that god has a plan for all of us, and all we can do is live as best as we can in the lives we were given. i recognize my privilege, and i don’t understand why it’s been given to me, but i’m going to do everything i can to be the best person i can be.
i’m sort of derailing myself by mentioning this but one of the reasons i love angelina jolie is because i feel like she does the same. she’s a rich, white actress who is very blessed, but she has always recognized her blessings and continues to bless the world by using her finances and just her own kind soul to help other people all the time. that’s so beautiful to me. obviously i’m not that rich and i don’t really have that much freedom since i’m not even an adult, but i’m trying to live out my life as best as i can. i can’t directly help all the people suffering in this world, but i can help a lot of other people. not just by donating money to charity, but by reaching out to the people that i can reach out to, and being there for people who need it. i think these are the things that really count in life. we cannot fix every problem, no matter how frustrating it may be. i always would think that i need to fix everything, and when i’m unable to, i become extremely upset with myself. even with simple things like not being able to fix screwed up plans, or not being able to make my friends happy. but you know, even though i still think like that now, i need to remind myself that it’s okay not to be able to fix every problem, and it’s okay not to reach everyone.
overall, i just feel like we all need to love each other a little bit more in this life. love yourself. make everyone smile. the two stupid things i say all the time that my friends make fun of me for, but it’s true! c: and my new mantra i’ve been living by: be affectionate. be loving, if you really want to make a difference in the world, do this.
Foster the People - Coming of Age (Up Close and Personal Live at the Edge)